Creative Paragraphs- Man In Space

This week we have been learning to rework our writing to make our paragraphs interesting for our audience. We started by writing a creative sentence about this picture. As a class we will choose Nate's sentence because we liked it the best and wrote a paragraph each to follow the chosen sentence. Here is the beginning of my story that starts with Nate's sentence.

A spaceman bravely strikes out into the icy milkyway.The milky way will take me to desert in egypt!.

As he floats out the ship has collapsed milky way.”This is a disaster! we will have to get the ship out as soon as possible”!.

The space man is going to the milky way portal he will have to the ship! there's his friends in there! he can not find the ship “WATCH OUT!!” aliens attacking He pulls out his ray gun shoot shoot! “aghh i think they are trying to capture my friends i can’t let this happen”.

Ive been here for days now and i still have not found the ship yet. He saw a dome hmm i wonder what’s in there hopefully its the ship as he goes he sees a ship OMG there it is but there were 7 aliens alright if i have to do then i will bang bang!!! shot shoot WOOOO! yea that was fun suddenly as he opens the his the door friends run out of the cove his friends say there is a portal code chip we need the chip to get out of here where is the location he says.

The location is in the obsidian pyramid the chip has been locked in there for over 1000 years but we need ammunition right? she said I've got that covered so we went to the pyramid there were only 3 of us so it was hard we cleared out the 30 guards now we have to defeat the boss! NO ONE WILL DEFEAT ME! we will see about that! the boss is very wounded oh no ammo we have to use our blade the boss is down grab the chip and let’s get out of here! we will have to fix the ship 2 hours later the ship is fixed! now we must smash the chip go now! crack goes chip now drive into the portal and let’s go back to earth!  

They made it back to earth. THE END - Kyron